I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
