Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
