God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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