Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
