I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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