Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
