So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
