butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
