What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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