who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
