you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
