i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
