I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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