3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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