He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Why is there bacon in the couch?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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