The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
