And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize