You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
