even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
