Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
