Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
