Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
