last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
