Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
