just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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