So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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