oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
