remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
