He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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