D3 body, D1 cock
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
