why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
