my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
