Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
