He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
