Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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