she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
