i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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