This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
