So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Every concussion has its silver lining
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Randomize
