i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
