So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
