I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
