i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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