Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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