remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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