i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I think i got beer on your cat.
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