Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
