Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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