The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize