As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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