I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
