Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
