Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
