Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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