Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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