Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
